


(Not Quite) Touched By An Angel

by DoctorTrekLock



Series: Resolution19 [40]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Cas doesn't actually make an appearance, Dean done messed up, Gen, Guardian Angel Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), More a prologue than an actual story, Prophet Castiel (Supernatural), Unlucky Castiel, reverse!verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 13:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorTrekLock/pseuds/DoctorTrekLock
Summary: "Guardian," Dean said flatly. "You're putting me onGuardian duty. You know I'm crap at that."Bobby's expression was leaving unimpressed and edging well into irritated. "You screwed up Matching so badly that we had to push back the Second Coming by three centuries." Dean flinched slightly at the reminder. "I will stick you where I damn well please and you're going to be thrilled I don't send you to patrol the sixth sphere."





	(Not Quite) Touched By An Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: (Angel/Human) I’m a guardian angel but really shitty at my -oh my gosh don’t walk into the street!  
Source: <https://doctortreklock.tumblr.com/post/158232523077/angel-and-demon-prompts>
> 
> Originally posted September 15, 2019 on [Tumblr](https://doctortreklock.tumblr.com/post/187743715392/not-quite-touched-by-an-angel-september-15)

"Guardian," Dean said flatly. "You're putting me on Guardian duty."

Bobby looked unimpressed. "Damn right I am."

"But _Guardian duty_," Dean complained. "You know I'm crap at that."

Bobby's expression was leaving unimpressed and edging well into irritated. "You screwed up Matching so badly that we had to push back the Second Coming by three centuries." Dean flinched slightly at the reminder. "I will stick you where I damn well please and you're going to be thrilled I don't send you to patrol the sixth sphere. Now get out of my office," he demanded with a rough gesture toward the door.

Dean got.

Before he closed the door behind him, Bobby gave him one last warning. "If the Novak boy gets so much as one goddamned hair out of place, you'll be wishing I'd sent you straight to Limbo. Got it?"

Dean swallowed. "Yes, sir." He closed the door behind him before Bobby could level any more threats.

He closed his eyes and leaned back against the door for a moment, letting his breath out in a controlled stream.

"So how'd it go?"

Dean jumped, swore, and opened his eyes to see Charlie standing a scant two feet from him, Sam hovering just behind her.

Then he sighed and admitted, "It could have gone worse." Dean started to walk down the hallway toward the nearest Section, which had the double advantage of taking him further from Bobby's office and of carrying him closer to the brilliant white hallways that housed the Heavens of departed humans and thus the chance of grabbing a cheeseburger and a beer.

"What happened?" Sam asked, worry evident in his voice as he and Charlie flanked him.

"I got transferred," Dean admitted easily.

"No shit," Charlie snorted. "After the Milton thing, I'd thought that would have been a given."

Dean threw her a mock scowl. "Quiet, you."

Charlie continued without pause. "I mean, you were meant to make a Match, but you sparked off, what, three blood feuds?"

"Five," Dean corrected under his breath, easily navigating their way through the winding hallways of Heaven.

"_Five?_" Sam shrieked. Damn, Dean had forgotten his brother had ears like a bat.

"Pipe down," Dean demanded. "It's not that bad; I'm sure it'll all blow over in a generation or two."

"_A generation or_\--Dean!" Sam was practically hysterical at this point. Dean rolled his eyes at his overly concerned brother.

"It'll be fine," Dean said placatingly.

"I'm not sure of that," Charlie warned. "Anna Milton and Uriel Cohen were supposed to be the Abraham and Sarah of the Second Coming. Now you've made them the new Montagues and Capulets."

"Eh, I prefer Hatfields and McCoys myself," Dean offered. "It's a more modern reference."

"_Dean_," Sam protested.

"Shut it," Dean said, annoyance bleeding through his tone. "It's fine. I just got bumped off Matching. It'll all work out."

"What did you get moved to?" Charlie asked warily.

"Guardian," Dean said flippantly as they turned the last corner into the proper Section. Ellen had just told him about a wonderful little Heaven with a bar called the Roadhouse in it and he was dying for a cheeseburger that actually tasted like grease.

"Bobby thought that was a good idea?" Sam voice was skeptical, which Dean was somewhat offended at.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He shot his brother a dark look. "I can pull off Guardian."

"You just turned a love match into the backdrop for World War Three," Charlie pointed out dryly. "I can't see what could possibly have Sam so concerned."

Dean scowled at the pair of them. "You're both worrywarts," he announced. "It'll be fine."

"With your luck the poor sap will end up running into traffic," Charlie informed him. "Who is the unlucky bastard anyway?"

"Castiel Novak."

A few seconds later Dean realized that Sam and Charlie had stopped dead in their tracks at the name. He turned around to see them both eyeing him, Charlie with pity, Sam with horror. "What?" he snapped defensively.

"You are so screwed," Charlie told him.

"We're all screwed," Sam corrected her.

"What? Who's Novak anyway?"

"If Milton and Cohen were Abraham and Sarah--" Charlie started.

"Novak is Isaiah," Sam finished. "A crazy powerful prophet who's going to be churning out some very important prophecies."

"What?" Dean was aware his mouth was hanging open unattractively in surprise. "Why the hell would I get Novak after the Milton thing?"

"Because Novak's a trouble magnet," Sam informed him grimly. "He came online ten months ago and has gone through seven different Guardians since then."

"Really?" Dean asked weakly.

"Yep," Charlie said, popping the "p." "And not the usual ways either; no demon attacks or anything yet. Nope!" she continued. "They've all _quit_."

"What?" Dean asked, confused. "You can do that?"

"Apparently." Charlie shrugged. "He must have broken a entire funhouse of mirrors or lost a warren's worth of rabbit's feet because that guy is _unlucky_. Like, the dictionary definition."

"What kind of unlucky are we talking about?" Dean asked, a sinking feeling making itself at home in his stomach.

"He's been struck by lightning twice--"

"--fell in an elevator shaft--"

"--stuck in the middle of a lift bridge just when it was opening--"

"--middle of hunting season--"

"--locked out--"

"--identity theft--"

"--four times--"

"--twice--"

"--can't understand how he's still--"

"Alright!" Dean shouted, holding up his hands to halt the flow of woe coming from two sides. "I get it, okay? The guy's unlucky." Dean hesitated. "Why do you think I got him?"

"Punishment?" Sam suggested.

"Karma," Charlie said decisively.

"C'mon, be serious," Dean said. "If this dude's so important, there's no way the guys upstairs stick him with me. I mean," he waved a hand around. "Hatfields and McCoys!"

"Karma," Charlie repeated. "You've ruined the world, now the world is going to try to ruin you. Mostly by making you run yourself ragged keeping Novak alive."

"Punishment," Sam said again. "For us." At the questioning looks he got from Charlie and Dean, he elaborated a bit. "The rest of heaven has obviously failed at exerting enough social pressure to get Dean to fall in line," he explained grimly. "Exhibit A: the Milton Debacle. As our punishment, we now have to watch as Dean runs this whole thing into the ground and we have to start the prophecy business all over again as well."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well that's fatalistic," Charlie commented.

"Realistic," Sam corrected. "The odds of Dean actually succeeding here are slim to none."

"I like Charlie's theory better," Dean informed him. "At least then I'm only dooming myself and not the next millennium of human history."

"To be fair," Charlie said. "You sort of already did that with Milton."

"I need a drink," Dean sighed, running a hand over his face.

"I'm not sure that's going to be enough," Charlie said comfortingly. "But you're welcome to try."

"It couldn't possibly make the situation any worse," Sam added darkly.

"Ugh," Dean groaned. He turned and starting stalking off down the hallway again, knowing Sam and Charlie would be following.

Charlie and Sam were right, of course. Alcohol wasn't going to make the Novak problem go away. But, Dean thought as he found the right door and pushed it open, letting the warm light and laughter of the bar spill out into the hallway, that was no reason not to try.


End file.
